The One In Which I Finally Show My Face After The Incident

After a couple of days of hiding behind the sofa with the curtains closed and the door locked and bolted, I finally decided to show my face outside the house of the damned.

I wrapped myself in a dark coat, borrowed Littleboy1’s top-hat from his magic set (it was a little tight, but it was good enough) and made off.

It was as if the Pink Panther theme was playing as I edged out of the driveway, on my knees, practically crawling.

“HIYA!” Suzy screamed, waving ferociously from the other side of the road. “FINALLY RECOVERED?”

She burst into giggles and so I got up and ran. I didn’t know what I was meant to be doing on this little revelation. Was I going to knock on all my neighbours’ doors and say “Hiya, I’ve finally decided to show my face after my dog made my name a mockery. Anything to say to that?” or was I just going to walk around, waving at everyone and spitting upon the route I’d travelled on my stomach?

As I entered the field, a woman walking her own greyhound practically collapsed with laughter, imitating my own incident.

Oh please. That greyhound couldn't drag you across the field if it tried, I thought, staring at her beer gut as she passed.

I finally gave up and turned round, trudging back to my not-so-humble abode.

“Where’ve you been?” Hubby asked as soon as I entered the house.

“Out.”

I then noticed his expression.

“What, can’t I just go out for a walk without there being a specific reason?”

Hubby didn’t even have to think. “Well, no. And what in the world are you wearing?”

He pulled the top-hat off my head (forgot about that…maybe that was the reason I got so many weird stares) and gave it to Littleboy1 who was passing through.

“Daddy, why was Mummy wearing my special magic hat?”

“I have no idea,” was his reply, and he took Littleboy1 outside to play some football.

Jasper seemed to know I was after him, so was hiding somewhere…